Black Wildebeest

9000 year old bushman marks

view from bush cave

Waterfall in cave

I wrote about this trip on an archery website.  undefined  Click and it will take you to the website.

Nairobi Men’s Club saving the world, one goat at a time.

Last weekend your mighty Men’s Club traveled to the Athi river planes on another poacher hunt.  Armed to the teeth with automatic weapons and elephant guns, we went on the hunt for the bad guys who do so much damage to Kenya’s wildlife.  Our efforts in the area are paying off as the poachers have not been as active as they used to.  But that did not completely deter them from their efforts.  We hiked around ten miles in the hot African heat and dust in our quest to find them.  Over the course of the day, we found around 50 animal snares.  At one point early in the morning, we saw some animals congregating in the distance.  As we approached closer, we saw a pack of hyenas attempting to get at something in a bush.  In the bush was a baby goat, trying to fend them off of her dead mother, another victim from a poacher’s snare.  Our shouts ran off the hyenas and we saw the little fighter.  Dehydrated, tired and hungry, the little baby came out of the bushes tail-a-wagging.  Now an orphan, the little goat who still had the umbilical cord attached, bayed and nudged her mother to move, unknowing that she was dead.  We in the NMC love a fighter, and only the toughest of females have applied for membership.  The Men’s Club President for Life who has a bigger heart than brain, proclaimed the goat would be our newest member.  Now “Nyama Choma” resides at the Men’s Club Mansion.  Always looking out for their own, the NMC members are caring for little Choma, with regular bottle feedings, which will continue until she is able to feed herself.  Many people are under the assumption that only men can be members of the Men’s Club, but that is not the case.  The NMC loves the ladies and throughout history many of history’s greatest women have joined our ranks.  Here are just a notable few.

Boudica – Queen of the Iceni Tribe, destroyed 4 Roman Legions and sacked London.
Scheherazade - Persian queen and storyteller.
Joan Of Arc - The last French freedom fighter.
Mrs. Pac Man - Pioneer for female video game characters of the future.
Penthesilea - Queen of the Amazons, first to stick it to the “Man”.
Wonder Woman – She is the most famous comic book superheroine, rocked Hot Pants.
Sappho - was an Ancient Greek lyric poet, born on the island of Lesbos.
Margaret Thatcher – The Iron Lady!!!

Trains Planes and Automobiles

This is a true story from actual events, only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.  Many trips in Africa are filled with trials, tribulations, frustrations and just plain bad luck, this is one of those.  After another year of selfless work the NMC decided to take a break and help themselves to a little fun fishing at the coast.  Wimps take planes, the men’s club rides the rails, and boy did we ride.  And ride, stop for several hours, ride, stop, ride-ride-ride, stop again and ride.  Though our journey to the coast was about 10 hours longer than expected, the NMC was prepared Y2K style with enough rations to make it with 7 to spare.  We did not let our 3 hour late start or the additional 3 hour engine swap out in Athi River dampen our festive mood.  Actually as the hours went by, we became more festive, joyous and loud (Much to the dismay of our train car neighbors).  Eventually we awoke to find that even though we had started our journey 16 hours earlier, we still had another 9 to go.  But at least we had ample supplies.  Here are a few tips for the train trip.  Take enough to last your trip plus some extra, and then double it.  Beware when waving at the little kids as the train passes by, Muzungu’s melons poking out the side of a train make great targets for rocks, chickens or other objects.  Take a leatherman to open up the doors on the train car; don’t miss out on a chance to ride San Francisco Cable Car style.  Also if the train wrecks, it’s the fastest way off.  Don’t make plans for the day of arrival, or possibly the day after.  Actually, if you make plans, make them to fly.  Finally never challenge the President, least one would like to have his finger cut by the P4L’s quickly drawn blade as a bleeding so called Cowboy learned.  Eventually we arrived in Mombassa and were taken to our rather nice but staffed by slacker’s hotel on the beach. 

At least we got there in time for the sunset but had to starve until the evening meal was ready.  After filling up on food, it was time to fill up on fun and we were off to an evening of wholesome entertainment.  As usual we attended mass and were ready for the next day’s activities. 

            Sunday morning we were picked up and after re-stocking our supplies, we were on the boat ready to go.  The action was hot and fast with the first strike occurring 15 minutes after boarding the boat.  After cutting cards to establish pole time, Chett (we’ll call him) reeled in a 17 Kilo Sailfish.   All of the excitement must have been too much for all of the land lubbers as one by one they started getting tummy aches and sick.  The grizzled Prez was reminded of the time when he saved a northeastern town from a giant man-eating shark.  An hour after the first fish was caught a beautiful Mahi-Mahi was on the line and after the toughest fight of the day finally reeled in by the mountain man.  A fish an hour is a pretty good pace to set, and it was going to continue.  An hour and 10 minutes later another monster was hooked. 

The mighty Tuna considered by many to be the deadliest and hardest fighting fish that prowls the dark blue depths of the sea.  Though the beast was tough, the P4L was tougher and soon landed drawing ooh’s and aah’s from the rest of the group.   The razor backed Tuna must have scared off the rest of the fish in the area, because it was 4 hours before anymore action was to take place. 

Every one was sick except for Slim-Jim and the Prez whom were the only ones onboard that had any time sailing the seven seas. 

It’s good to go out with a bang and at 3 pm the day’s biggest catch was online.  At this point it was the squeeze’s turn and she worked hard to bring in the catch before Slim-Jim took the hot seat and wrestled the slick ocean predator to the side of the boat before letting the Squeeze finish landing him.  With its razor sharp teeth and evil eyes the barracuda was to be our final catch of the day.  Soon we were back the pool to clean off before our train ride back to Nairobi.  Arriving at the train station we were not surprised to learn that train had been canceled and would not run again until Tuesday.  Lucky for us, our fishing operator Walter took us to the airport and we were able to nail down a flight back.  Again, if you plan on taking the train to the coast, plan instead on taking a plane.

Men’s Club saves the world again!
Or
Drunken goat buying, bug biting tree planting trip.

Last weekend the mighty Men’s Club disturbed by the recent reports of global warming decided to be a factor.  Acting where nations and other do-gooder groups have failed, we have shown how easy and un-clustered philanthropy can be.  Under the tutelage of the President for Life (P4L) we headed to Amboseli to plant trees.  Not just a few Arbor Day trees, but a full fledged grove.  The Men’s Club mysterious benefactor Karen Fabian hauled down a load of fence posts barbwire and equipment that would be used to protect the trees from animal encroachment.  As usual, we were met at the village with great pomp and ceremony.  A great celebration it was going to be. A goat was put to the knife and knowing that that the P4L enjoys imbibing, the Maasai provided drinks for his enjoyment, least he use his Mzungu Magic in anger.  We made many sacrifices to the great Tusker god in the sky.  Pleased with the party and yet as another example of his generosity the P4L purchased a herd of goats to show others the wealth and power that is at the disposal of the Men’s Club.  The evening was not without incident, waking up the next morning the P4L found that he had been assaulted by the ever dangerous Nairobi Fly.  By the end of the trip the P4L would end up looking like a Zombie with the skin peeling off of his face, erupting in pockets of puss and oozing fluids. 

  

On Saturday morning with face in pain and head-a-hung-over, the P4L along with the devoted members of the MC got to work.  While Tim and Simon directed the crews putting in fence posts, Karen took charge of the 400 saplings that were to be planted.  Working like a well oiled machine, everyone pulled together and all of the work was done by noon.  Proud of our work, we headed to our lodges for a much needed de-funk and shower.  In great pain at this point, the P4L found that only one thing could ease his pain.  So for the next 7 hours he self medicated with vodka tonics, ordering a double every time that he heard “dude, that looks bad”.  The rest of the evening was spent contemplating what the P4L’s condition would end up being.  Luckily, the bug’s venom did not make it into his eye and he should have a full recovery. 

The Men’s Club would like to thank its members from throughout the Embassy community for coming out.  Being a factor on the weekend were personnel and family members from KUSLO, DAO, LOC, IPC, POL, and PAO.  Unlike what the skeptics say, saving the world is easy, just not fast.

This is a Kenyan Lumberjack.  Notice that the rope is attached to the saw and not the guy.  Saws cost more than people here I guess.  This was taken after he had already trimmed all of the stuff off at the top. 

Went to Egypt, saw the pyramids.

Fight the Power baby!!!